You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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