Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
