I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
