forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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