we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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