p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
