peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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