I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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