that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
