How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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