Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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