Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
