Porn is love you can see.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
