You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
