I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm really busy with my period
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