Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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