did you get engaged???
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
