why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Holy sore nipples Batman
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
