Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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