Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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