just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
