this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
