He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
