we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So apparently I’m into choking now
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