So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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