"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You can't special order awesome
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
