Pappa wants mamma naked
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
