Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
