look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
