Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
