I think i peed on brittanys purse
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
