Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
