I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
