If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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