Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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