I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
