I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude i'm inner monologue high
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
