Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
