Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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