just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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