I'll bet she douches with gravy.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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