with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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