the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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