I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
