I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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