Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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