Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
