I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
