It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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