Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
