How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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